Four Steps to a More Positive Mindset

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            Most of us don’t spend much time thinking about the way we think. But thinking is a habit. The way we talk to ourselves in our minds is a habit. Bad habits, such as negative self–messages and put–downs, create bad results–low self–esteem, depression and lack of motivation. Good habits, such as talking to yourself in a positive way, focusing on positive thoughts, and being positive with other people, create good results–success, happiness, and peace of mind. While no one is positive all the time, there are ways to gain a positive “mind set,” where positive thinking becomes a habit. Below are 4 simple steps you can take to gain a more positive mindset:

1)            Eliminate Negative Self-Talk   You probably don't realize how many times a day you send yourself negative mental messages because the habit of negative self–talk goes unnoticed after a while. But studies show that most people hear between 300 and 400 negative messages per day–many of them in their own minds. Start today to monitor your inner dialogue. Note any negative mental comments like, “Well, that was stupid,” or “I knew I'd mess it up.” Recognize that such internal put-downs simply serve to reinforce a poor self–image and reduce your confidence in yourself.

              Begin today to consciously change such negative thoughts. Whenever you find yourself thinking a negative thought, STOP, no matter where you are in the thought process. Never complete a negative thought. Change it to a positive one before you finish.

  2)          Give Yourself a Mirror Pep Rally    Another way to create the habit of positive thinking is to give yourself a “mirror pep rally.” Each morning (or whenever you feel the need) look at yourself in the mirror and say: “I am a positive person. I look for and see only the positive in every situation. I am thankful for the good that comes my way, and the lessons that I am allowed to learn.”

3)              Don’t Worry              Like thinking positively, worrying is a habit, too - a bad habit. Worry is a waste of time. It does nothing to change a situation. But not only is worry wasteful, it is destructive as well. It is self–defeating, dragging you into a chasm of imagined fears and doubts that serve to undermine your positive outlook. Would it not be better to put your worries out of your mind? To break the habit of worry? Here are some “tricks” to help you become worry–free:

            Maintain a worry–time schedule. Set aside one half hour each day to do all your worrying. During this half hour worry to your heart's content, playing out all the possibilities to their ultimate catastrophe. But at any other time during the day, you must not indulge in worrying. Gradually reduce your worry–time.  Start with a half hour a day.  After a week, cut it down to twenty minutes, then ten minutes. Then eliminate your worry–time altogether.  Realize that your worrying did not help your situation in any way. All your concentrated worrying changed nothing. Therefore, your worries were wasted; you didn't need them. You are free to let them go.

4)            Use your Imagination.      Create an imaginary “safe place” to contain your worries. One psychologist keeps three jars on his desk–top. The first is labeled Doubts. The second is labeled Fears. The third is labeled Worries. Whenever he has a doubt, a fear, or a worry, he simply lifts the lid on the appropriate jar and “tosses” it inside. Very useful, those little jars!

TEST YOURSELF:  How Positive Are You?

To get an idea of just how positive you are, answer the following questions “TRUE” or “FALSE.”

1)             I’m basically a lucky person.

2)            Overall, life is good to me.

3)              I like most people.

4)            Most of the time, things go the way they are supposed to.

5)            You can trust most people.

            If you answered any one of the above questions with a “false” answer, your attitude could probably use a little more positivity. Two or more “false” answers indicate a need to overhaul your thinking habits. Try the techniques listed in the article for three weeks and you’ll be surprised at the positive change in your outlook.

           Rita Milios. The Mind Mentor, is a Transformational Psychotherapist, author and speaker from Hudson (Pasco County) FL. View her Profile on Psychology Today.com